Author: michele1119

About michele1119

I have only recently discovered that I have such an interest in writing, and I created this blog to share thoughts that I have. These are thoughts that I have on what is true in the world, what is true in life. Some of these are just random things that cross my mind, and some are deeply thought out posts that I think about for weeks or months before writing. Be sure to follow me if you enjoy me and don't be afraid to leave comments.

Experiencing the mind of God

This is by far my most amazing  of my experiences yet and I believe the start of something wonderful in my personal live along with others. I will wait for more communications to make assumptions but if you want to see the beauty in God and creation then have a read.

I was introduced to what God is and even had what I believe as contact with God direct as in experiencing being connected in my deeper mind with him and not just a presence of him unaware of being part of God by God being all around me as well as a beautiful story I wrote while connected to God for primal vs  God mind.

God made me aware of being ready to feel connection and he taught me the way to connect with him to begin understanding God intelligence as seperate from our minds which it definitely is. This was frightening at first and I went from extremes of excitement, nervousness to happiness and back again . Then I lost connection. Later that day I got a number to find which led me to a set of instructions on how to properly advance your mind with God and my primal mind was trying to force power ego and all of the wrong things our bad mind does so God had to let me understand it before trying  again as to not cause any mind damage or non reversible damage .

The mind of God has no primal existence which is part of what we can’t grasp of Gods mind since our mind exists on primal beliefs.  God can be so perfect but we can’t  comprehend how perfect due to primal as an instinct in our physical mind.

Anyways  Later in the Day I felt God presence again and I slowly felt better and better and calmer and calmer. So my primal mind went away a couple hours and while I was connected to God he told me about the difference in how he can create perfection while we can’t in the same way and he even taught me an example  (which I find lovely) so I could understand it In a way that I understood as I wrote it while I felt it. God wasn’t speaking but it was the love in Gods mind at work which is what us humans can not grasp how to do. I will just write out what I wrote while he was telling it to me, or no I will reword it to see if I can while just using my mind now (God also told me i need to train my mind to serve me not me serve it so I can experience God mind more and more as primal mind becomes servant and dormant)

I felt the presence of the perfect true treality and how to keep it perfect came to me also. So I wrote a scenario that involved how God being would save mankind from.destructing themselves without any primal instincts such as God taking what has been destroyed by primal beings then fixing these beings to be more perfect again by the beings being taught compassion from teachers sent by God that is connected to God mind and these teachers using God mind to teach the more primal minds compassion and to help them reach a state so they can experience God themselves. Once  they do they will teach each other so they can form their unity directly from.their non unity thanks to this being a creation God mind allows to keep life perfect.

So in mankind they teach next being then the next will teach and so on and on so until all of the primal minds are connected as God mind and oneness all being connected by a large web that completes a beautiful creation when they have accomplished oneness by the love of God mind that allowed them to turn hatred into beauty while uniting at the same time and destroying primal beliefs that once existed which then turn their old destructive planet back into beauty by all of mankinds destructive behavior being completely reverted back to pure beauty so another civilization can recreate in a more beautiful planet than it was previous because only God mind can grasp turning destruction into the most magnificent beauty, only god mind can help make a broken society full of hatred turn around and make their own hatred turn into love then even unite themselves to oneness from what was once hatred.

This is God intelligence for bliss that primal mind can not fathom until God uses genius ways in his mind to form beauty out of the worst destruction and worst war scene ever. So it is pure love and nothing less ever that is used to create such a wonderful environmentmemt for us to exist in.

 God also told me the happy story could have also went the opposite direction because of their free will but God sent the teachers to help them unite each other. God said he loves his creations and wants them to advance but he can not control what their free will will choose so he just forms a perfect  beautiful plan to save them to progress and not decline.


I have begun to receive communication in various forms I believe to be directly from God

This is very new and exciting for me and I am glad to write about it. I have had a rapid onset of new understandings about God in the past few months that do not line up very much with older posts I have made that included religion which is ok because I made this blog to follow the timeliness of my learning. Religion and awakaneig to beginning to understand and connect to God have little in common with each other. God is not defined by religion in any way along with the awakenings, new age practices and so on are nothing more than steps that individuals will take on their individual separate journeys that have been designed for them by God to discover knowledge as the gift it is from God.

God is an advanced being beyond our physical minds comprehension and God is part of  and created all of creation by an advanced mathamatecal and geometric makeup . We are still connected with God through our deeper mind which is a creation by God but for most of us this stays dormant for the majority of cur lifetimes on ssomm the physical world until we start toe up to God. Then we start to understand and learn of the existence of this God. Communication from God can happen slowly once you understand  how to access your dormant spirit mind which is where God knowledge has always been and will always be, it can only be accessesed when you have progressed to access it.

I had my first experience with which I am very close to positive was communication from God to me to show me a lesson I wanted and assume also needed to learn. I was concentrating on accessing my spirit mind to connect and I wantedclarification on some info about the makeup of our reality and the math involved. I was close to giving up when the clock hit 1:37 and a voice said it is time, learn the number. So I put the number in Google and this was the number. The number 137 is a number that can not be explained by physics or science and is said to be designed by the hands of God since the number has so not been able to be interpreted by any man who has tried to understand how the number functions as such a major number in much of the buildup of life and the universe along with various other connections to the number. Click the link below to see the number in action in creation 🙂


Coincidence? I do not think so because ado not believe in coincidence.

I had another experience today where I was contacted with soe teachings, some warnings and some lessons to take because I am new to this knowledge again and I was told  to not get overly excited and waste my energy because I am experiencing just the beginning of unlocking my no longer dormant deep mind. I will add more about that message shortly. Very interestingand exciting experiences in the last couple of days for sure.

The other side of the cube.

A couple of days ago I had a vision. The vision was that there was a treasure in a hidden room in my apartment. Of course I was thinking someone had hidden something of value inside of a hidden place in the apartment I live in, so I started thinking about what this treasure could be and where I could find it. I wondered if there was a hidden latch to open a door to get to a secret room. I thought of all kinds of things.I came up with no answers. Why? Because there is no hidden area in my apartment with a hidden treasure of money or anything else of that kind of value, and those are the things I was thinking it could be for the treasure. I had to think deeper and after a few hours it just clicked to me, I found the treasure. The treasure was another new learning experience for me that was very exciting to find. The concept is so simple it is funny to me that I have never thought it before, but also very interesting in the way reality is. It is the oneness of everything in our physical world and it explains how it is connected. This is Advaita.

To quote my favorite part from the link posted and what it taught me, I am going to post the paragraph here. I do give credit to for this material and I have no part in coming up with the content below.

Still more recently, science claimed that all of the different particles are themselves made out of different combinations of just a few particles called quarks and that those are the ultimately existing things. But they have not yet progressed far enough. The simple fact of the matter is that every ‘thing’ is ultimately only an attribute, a name and form superimposed upon a more fundamental substantive. We make the mistake of thinking that there really is a table, when actually there is only wood. We make the mistake of thinking that there is really wood, when actually there is only cellulose and sugars and proteins. We make the mistake of thinking there is protein when this is only a particular combination of atoms. Ultimately, everything in the universe is seen to be only name and form of a single substantive.

The mathematical system I learned about just today and the beauty of it in the creation of the entire universe.

I’ve studied a lot recently on how the earth is formed with numbers. I believe I have been on the right track here. I’ll share my latest findings, which strangely a big percentage of this came to me in an instant that I had to write immediately.

1486230862 is a number that was posted for time in echo-seconds for the difference in time zones that was posted in a forum I am on. Someone had started a thread about time, the universe, creation, etc. I joined in willingly to the conversation and it sparked a major new learning experience for me. I had no time to waste and had to write about it immediately, no waiting. Why? No clue because it came as a huge load of information that I guess had to be processed immediately to be sure I remembered it all.

Back to that number from the forum I’m on and it’s relation to the universe, time, pi, and how it all forms the mathematical system that runs everything, at least how I’ve started to learn it. The learning of this system is decent to means I’ve been confused on it quite a bit. I watched a documentary about a week ago that lined up with my beliefs well, made lots of sense and helped me learn more. I believe that helped spark my experience today which was an intense direct input of loads of information. Definitely very intense,

So, to bring up the number from the forum again, 3.14 is pi. The difference in 1 and 4 is 3 in line with the sequence of numbers. Obviously pi begins with 3, and the sequence has a difference of 3 from the first 2 numbers.  It is the universal law of circumference that pi is a formula for a sphere. Circumference divided my the width equals 3.14 each time. We have the basic spherical buildup of the entire universe with this alone.

Taking the number 1486230862, starting at the beginning of this number, the 1 and 4 at the start leave a remaining of 3. 4 and 8 is 4, 8, 6, 2 and so on. These patterns form a new sequence, which form a new sequence, and on and on.  It’s probably a bit confusing to get the pattern, so I included more of what I found with these patterns here below.

Just to start with an example of one number describing time zones between distances in a large number

Again, the number I’m using is 1486230862. Break it down in sequence to form the patterns it contains by basic differences between basic numbers. It looks much more complex than it really is. I guess it can get more complex dealing with many more numbers, such as billions and trillions, but we’ll keep it basic. It’s all that is needed anyways.

The first number sequence I got from the number above, and I did 3 different ones, same formula.

1.) 3 4 2 4 1 3 8 2 4

1 2 2 3 2 5 6 2
1 0 1 1 3 1 4
1 1 0 2 2 3
0 1 2 0 1
1 1 2 1
0 1 1
1 0

2.) 3 4 2 4 1 3 8 2 4

1 2 2 3 2 5 6 2
1 0 1 1 3 1 4
1 1 0 2 2 3
0 1 2 0 1
1 1 2 1
0 1 0
1 1

3.)3 4 2 4 1 3 8 2 4

1 2 2 3 2 5 6 2
1 0 1 1 3 1 4
1 1 0 2 2 3
0 1 2 0 1
1 1 2 1
0 1 1
1 0

Even binary code can be seen in a small formation from looking here. 1 and 0 in a pattern over and over and can use the same formulas to form the code written in binary based on he order of the numbers and the patterns they create. Time is a very specific set of numbers so it creates the same times on our clocks day after day after day 365 days a year. Even 365 is starting with the formula for circumference which is 3, and will always create the same tick tock clock work for time, just like a circle will always equal pi with the formula. This is just a tiny explanation of some of workings just on a small part of earth. There’s all the other planets, galaxies, the universe and maybe even multiverse (more research on my part required at a later time). We can never imagine the workings of it based on not or barely being able to understand the makeup of our own planet. We can see that the basic buildup of the entire universe will use the same formula, numbers are universal non changing and stay that way forever. It is the creation technique I believe an intelligent being created along with science included because there’s a whole other set of patterns for life forms, their evolution, life cycles, etc… It’s a beautiful thing. So science and creation win. I also like how you can’t change the meanings, intentions or laws of numbers. They stay the same and form the base of our creation. Religion, human arrogance, ignorance, arguments, and everything else humans try to debate over,  try to change, can not and never will be able to change numbers. They are free of human free will rights and intervention. You can’t make 2+2  equal six no matter what you believe and you can’t convince anyone that is mentally well pretty much in 2nd grade or above that 2 + 2 equals anything other than 4. This is the beginning of seeing the workings of intelligent design in the universe for me in a way that has always been right in front of me while being completely blind to it. I only “see a number that is written, you don’t “see” them as physical structures, or living creatures, but they exist without a doubt and I do not know a single person on the plane who would say otherwise. God does exist in this way and he shows us when we’re ready.

I am honestly confused on what is going on right now. But I am posting this.

I know I have not posted in a long time. I have learned a lot since I last posted, a whole lot. I am living in a brand new place, and my life is much better, so much better. I do not understand how some things come about, but they do. God has asked me to post about this, so I am doing it. I have been told to write a blog about my experiences now. More to come soon.


I started a petition on for stricter laws on criminalizing emotional and psychological abuse in the US. Please click here to read the petition and sign to make a difference.

Another lost battle with emotional abuse. I am tired of losing to this. Lets change it!!

It has been a while since I have posted. My life has been an upside down mess recently. I have been extremely unhappy. I foolishly ended up in yet another psychologically abusive relationship. I am having trouble ending this one, this one has created a bigger problem on my feelings of self worth as a human being. I have lost a lot of myself, I do not know me anymore. I can not write the things I used to. I feel extremely depressed, worthless, useless, sometimes I almost just want to end it all. My OCD is coming back like a train running over me over and over. My anxiety is at record levels. I feel like I am losing my mind. Maybe I’m going crazy?

How do I keep doing this to myself? Is it me? Why do I get abused and treated subhuman in every relationship I get into? I am lucky that I have never been physically abused in a severe way, but all of the emotionally abusive men have physically abused me atleast once. Why do I care about this man who has been awful to me? Why don’t I hate him? Why can’t I hate him? I want him to go away and never return. He belongs in prison for his behavior. Why is this type of abuse able to happen so often and go unpunished?


I came up with a new idea tonight when I was talking to a friend about the abuse I have again endured for the past 5 months. I brought up that I would like to create some type of fundraiser/community/petition for being able to bring justice to victims of this tormenting type of emotional abuse. There are ways of proving this abuse and convicting these monsters so they can suffer for what they have done as they have made their victims suffer. Why do we have to live mentally damaged for months, years, even our whole lives because some entitled person wants to make us feel worthless and treat us like garbage? Do they think they are better than anyone? Where do they get this entitlement? They should at the very least be made to pay for therapy of the victim, lost wages, lost homes, lost opportunities, and many many more things that can be listed here.


I would love some of the readers here to add comments of ideas you have for a community and ways you think would be effective in proving emotional abuse in men and women. Ideas about the fundraiser, petition and any other useful information regarding this will also be greatly appreciated.


The UK passed a law on this recently. America needs to do it as well along with everywhere else in the world. Check out this link to read about it:

Five years in jail for men who ’emotionally bully’ wives.

Can an abusive man change? If you believe so, what is the percentage of them you believe can change?

I wrote a letter to give to my friend I was referring to in this post. I brought up a number that I felt was the percent of men that would change, or could change. That number was 1%. I had some people disagree, they said that I was being biased. I had someone try to say “is that a fact”? Well of course it isn’t a fact. To say it is a fact would be a huge overestimation of who you are as a person and your abilities. There is absolutely no way something like this can be proven as fact. If someone can prove  an actual number as a fact, plain and simple, please do let me know. Thinking something like this is letting your ego control you, plain and simple. You know there is no way you can prove it to be a fact, but you have to prove yourself better somehow. Major ego issue that needs to be fixed there my friend.

Why can’t it be proven as a fact? Because you can’t factually prove the intention of every human being on Earth into a number. That would be saying you could see the future, that you can see everything that is ever going to happen. That is completely foolish, and you look like a complete fool by saying it – but wait… You think you sound smart. Educate yourself into being a better person. Being the better person is far from trying to make yourself sound like the better person by a false sense of your own abilities and intelligence.

The letter I am referring to is a letter I wrote to to my friend I was going to pick up. It was a gift to her, something she needed, and something I felt would be a great lesson for her. After starting to write on my blog today, I realized that this wasn’t meant as a gift just to her, it was meant for everyone to read, so I will post it here.


I’m going to type what is written in the letters because I can only see about half of what is written. When I took the pictures on my phone they looked great, but on my laptop I am unable to zoom in on them and can’t see half of what they say.

I wanted to come get you because I care about you and I love you. I can’t sit around and let someone suffer if I know there are things I can do to help. If someone can sit around and do nothing while you ask for help, then maybe they are worse off than you are?

Now, on to the tougher part of the things I want to let you know. I already told you why I came up here, so this time I would really like to see you stay. Can you make me a promise? That promise is that you will never go back to him, or any guy like him. Do you think you can do that?

*You saying yes comes with these terms*

You will not believe an abusive jerk because they beg, cry, and go on and on about how much they love you. They go on and on that they have changed, or that they will.

The chances of an abusive man in general changing is maybe about 1%.

An abusive man using only the “I love you, miss you, I have changed, or will change” asshole line has a big fat 0% chance of being sincere.

So, if you can accept the promise, you can agree to see these statements on the next page you have. With the promise you gave me, you agree that if you can not check off ALL of these boxes, then you will not go back to this guy. Pretty please?

If he is trying to make you come back, and you are considering it, then refer to this list. If you can truthfully check every single box, then you will have my approval for this asshole. I’ll even give the prick a hug, maybe even a shot of my vodka, maybe…

  1. He has apologized for every wrong doing he has done to you in actions and words. He takes the initiative to bring up all of these on his own, not you telling him what he should be sorry for.
  2. He did not use the “baby I’m sorry, I love you so much and I promise I’ll change” line. This is the line of liars. 0% change, they will go back to their old ways, guaranteed! How do I know he won’t change with that line? A man sincere would never use that line, they would respect your need for healing time and time alone.
  3. Did he admit FULLY to his history of physical, emotional, sexual, and psychological abuse? Did he see all of the signs of these, and understand how they hurt you so badly? Did he say why he did them, and why he won’t do them again?
  4. Is he no longer playing the victim? Is he accepting what is his fault? Has he told you that he wrongly blamed you for everything wrong, and why?


Remember the most important part of all of these checkboxes:

He must take the initiative on his own for them all

I received a message to add to my last post

Like I have explained before when I use the Bible to help make my posts clear, or clearer. They come to me as a feeling to look it up, or a time on the clock, etc.. This time I actually heard it clearly say to me “19, 2”, so I looked up book 19 which is Psalms, and chapter 2. I also hardly ever read the bible, so these aren’t from memory . I can’t quote a single thing from the Bible on my own, except for maybe John 3:16, everyone must have that one memorized.

Psalms 2

Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?

The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying,

Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.

He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.

Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.

Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.

I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.

Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.

Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel.

Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth.

Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice with trembling.

Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.

God is such a drama____(fill in the blank with your view of God)

I made a new word out of my fill in the blank. Draminity. Drama and infinity. My view of infinity (everything, on going).

After my post yesterday, there was not much time wasted in learning my next lesson. As usual, it happens in the most dramatic way possible to get the most simple of things across. This is what we as humans require I guess, it makes us feel even more insignificant.

I’m going to try to be as short as possible in the story leading up to my lesson, but I want to add enough so the ending makes sense. I have a friend who moved 5 hours away with a man who has abused her. Everyone tried to tell her not to go, and she went anyways. She got in contact with me a few days ago to ask me if I could help. I don’t have a car, and she knows this but she wanted to see if there was anything I could do. I told her I had already tried asking everyone we are mutual friends with, and everyone I could possibly ask in general. Everyone, every single person I asked had the exact same response. I’m sure most can probably guess what that response is, because a big majority of you will say the same exact thing. That response is “she is stupid for moving 5 hours away with him, if we go get her, then she is just going to run right back, so I’m not going to help her”. I won’t lie, I have said the same thing myself in the past, but this time I felt it was wrong to say that. Every time someone said it, it made me more upset. I wished there was more I could do.

I wished there was more I could do. I was true with myself and my intentions on what I really wanted to do. I got a message from my friend on Facebook yesterday that she had found someone who would let me use their vehicle to go pick her up. The first thing I said was “great, this is wonderful news, I’ll come get you”.  It also worked out perfect that I am off work today and tomorrow. The issues started happening when I asked a mutual friend of ours if he would take me to go pick up the vehicle I was allowed to use. He said yes, no problem, that he would come get me. Well, that didn’t happen because of some personal issues in his life to where he couldn’t make it. I didn’t know this had happened until later on today. I told my friend I was supposed to pick up that I couldn’t make it to pick up the vehicle, that I’d try to find another way. She decided to call the person whose vehicle I would be using to ask if he would possibly be able to come pick me up because we had ran out of options. He was happy to do it. What is great about this person is he is a Vietnam vet who who isn’t supposed to go out driving around too much or being too active because he has  medical issues. I live about 15 miles from where he lives. He came to pick me up so I could take him back home and for me to get on the road to pick up my friend. I realized I had forgotten to grab something to drink from home, so I asked him to stop at the gas station on the way so I could get a drink. We were still introducing ourselves, and I asked about his Vietnam Veteran hat. He told me a little bit about it, then he looked at me and said “I really wish we wouldn’t have had to do that, there was no point in all of that”. Him saying that got to me, I liked him saying that, so I replied and said “I agree, and the same thing applies now”. He agreed with that statement as well. We got back on the road, and about 1 mile in, the truck just shut off while we were going 60 miles an hour. It turns out that the truck was overheating. We didn’t see any warning of it overheating, but apparently it was. This could be a thermostat issue, but to shut off going 60 miles an hour? An overheating vehicle usually doesn’t shut off going 60 miles an hour down the road, it would much more likely shut off while it is idling. I asked my new friend if this had been an issue, he said no, he also said his truck had only overheated 2 times since he owned it. I asked when the last time he put water in his truck, he said 4 days ago. It was a 2001 or 2002 model Toyota truck and he seemed like the type of person that took care of his truck, I didn’t notice anything wrong with the way his truck drove while being in it. I thought this was all very odd. I’ve actually never been in a vehicle that had shut off going 60 miles an hour down the road, and I’ve never had a vehicle do that. It really isn’t very common for a vehicle to shut off while going down the road, and especially at higher speeds.

After this, I decided to try to call and get us a ride back somewhere. I called the friend who was closest to where we were. This friend has a car with a lot of issues and he doesn’t like to drive it much at all, it is mostly used for him to drive it to work, but is used and can be used in other short trips as well. It is understandable that he doesn’t want to drive it often, and I do not ask him to drive me places unless I absolutely have to. I decided to call given our situation and because the man with me started saying he was feeling weak from the heat, that he really needed to get out of the heat and sit down. I told him to sit down, but it didn’t do much that it was still hot. The friend I called said no, I’m not taking my car out of town (we were about 2 miles away from town) . I explained to him the situation that I needed someone to get there as soon as absolutely possible, his response was “f*ck you, I said I’m NOT driving my car out of town”.  I got off the phone with him after that and got a hold of another friend who was 15 minutes away, he said he would hurry to get me. The man I was with got the truck started before my friend got there and he decided he just wanted to try to get it home to not leave it sitting on the side of a rural South Dakota road. I thanked my new friend for his generosity and wished him well.

So, lets get back to my friend who was not so hospitable, and what that has to do with my post from yesterday. It doesn’t seem that it has much resemblance, but it has plenty, it explains the whole point perfectly. Is there nothing, or is there something? It doesn’t matter. If you believe there is nothing, and it is only you, which I have been seriously confused about, then don’t take that as meaning you are all there is. I didn’t mention that me and that friend have been having some issues with getting along recently, but that didn’t stop me from calling to ask given the situation with the elderly (veteran) gentleman I was with. I was focused on making sure he was ok, I explained this on the phone to my friend when I asked him to get us. He didn’t have an issue with the man I was with, he probably barely listened when I said it. He had an issue with me, so he took it out on me to not come pick us up. Most people with any human decency would in this circumstance as long as they were able, correct? So it isn’t that everything is nothing, and it isn’t that you are all there is. It isn’t all loneliness. It isn’t that you should look at others as not being there, not having feelings, that they don’t all reflect on your life somehow, and you on theirs, because you do. We are all connected in this world in some way or another. How would you feel if you were the friend who was rude and the older gentleman I was with got sick to the point of needing medical care? It didn’t happen, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware of the possibility, and for you to do something about it if you can. To say it bluntly, it is your fault if you know you can help someone in a situation, and you don’t purely out of selfish reasons. Keyword selfish. If that person gets hurt or killed because of it, the guilt is partly on you whether you like it or not.