Abusive men

I started a petition on Change.org for stricter laws on criminalizing emotional and psychological abuse in the US. Please click here to read the petition and sign to make a difference.

Another lost battle with emotional abuse. I am tired of losing to this. Lets change it!!

It has been a while since I have posted. My life has been an upside down mess recently. I have been extremely unhappy. I foolishly ended up in yet another psychologically abusive relationship. I am having trouble ending this one, this one has created a bigger problem on my feelings of self worth as a human being. I have lost a lot of myself, I do not know me anymore. I can not write the things I used to. I feel extremely depressed, worthless, useless, sometimes I almost just want to end it all. My OCD is coming back like a train running over me over and over. My anxiety is at record levels. I feel like I am losing my mind. Maybe I’m going crazy?

 
How do I keep doing this to myself? Is it me? Why do I get abused and treated subhuman in every relationship I get into? I am lucky that I have never been physically abused in a severe way, but all of the emotionally abusive men have physically abused me atleast once. Why do I care about this man who has been awful to me? Why don’t I hate him? Why can’t I hate him? I want him to go away and never return. He belongs in prison for his behavior. Why is this type of abuse able to happen so often and go unpunished?

 

I came up with a new idea tonight when I was talking to a friend about the abuse I have again endured for the past 5 months. I brought up that I would like to create some type of fundraiser/community/petition for being able to bring justice to victims of this tormenting type of emotional abuse. There are ways of proving this abuse and convicting these monsters so they can suffer for what they have done as they have made their victims suffer. Why do we have to live mentally damaged for months, years, even our whole lives because some entitled person wants to make us feel worthless and treat us like garbage? Do they think they are better than anyone? Where do they get this entitlement? They should at the very least be made to pay for therapy of the victim, lost wages, lost homes, lost opportunities, and many many more things that can be listed here.

 

I would love some of the readers here to add comments of ideas you have for a community and ways you think would be effective in proving emotional abuse in men and women. Ideas about the fundraiser, petition and any other useful information regarding this will also be greatly appreciated.

 

The UK passed a law on this recently. America needs to do it as well along with everywhere else in the world. Check out this link to read about it:

Five years in jail for men who ’emotionally bully’ wives.

Can an abusive man change? If you believe so, what is the percentage of them you believe can change?

I wrote a letter to give to my friend I was referring to in this post. I brought up a number that I felt was the percent of men that would change, or could change. That number was 1%. I had some people disagree, they said that I was being biased. I had someone try to say “is that a fact”? Well of course it isn’t a fact. To say it is a fact would be a huge overestimation of who you are as a person and your abilities. There is absolutely no way something like this can be proven as fact. If someone can prove  an actual number as a fact, plain and simple, please do let me know. Thinking something like this is letting your ego control you, plain and simple. You know there is no way you can prove it to be a fact, but you have to prove yourself better somehow. Major ego issue that needs to be fixed there my friend.

Why can’t it be proven as a fact? Because you can’t factually prove the intention of every human being on Earth into a number. That would be saying you could see the future, that you can see everything that is ever going to happen. That is completely foolish, and you look like a complete fool by saying it – but wait… You think you sound smart. Educate yourself into being a better person. Being the better person is far from trying to make yourself sound like the better person by a false sense of your own abilities and intelligence.

The letter I am referring to is a letter I wrote to to my friend I was going to pick up. It was a gift to her, something she needed, and something I felt would be a great lesson for her. After starting to write on my blog today, I realized that this wasn’t meant as a gift just to her, it was meant for everyone to read, so I will post it here.

 

I’m going to type what is written in the letters because I can only see about half of what is written. When I took the pictures on my phone they looked great, but on my laptop I am unable to zoom in on them and can’t see half of what they say.

I wanted to come get you because I care about you and I love you. I can’t sit around and let someone suffer if I know there are things I can do to help. If someone can sit around and do nothing while you ask for help, then maybe they are worse off than you are?

Now, on to the tougher part of the things I want to let you know. I already told you why I came up here, so this time I would really like to see you stay. Can you make me a promise? That promise is that you will never go back to him, or any guy like him. Do you think you can do that?

*You saying yes comes with these terms*

You will not believe an abusive jerk because they beg, cry, and go on and on about how much they love you. They go on and on that they have changed, or that they will.

The chances of an abusive man in general changing is maybe about 1%.

An abusive man using only the “I love you, miss you, I have changed, or will change” asshole line has a big fat 0% chance of being sincere.

So, if you can accept the promise, you can agree to see these statements on the next page you have. With the promise you gave me, you agree that if you can not check off ALL of these boxes, then you will not go back to this guy. Pretty please?

If he is trying to make you come back, and you are considering it, then refer to this list. If you can truthfully check every single box, then you will have my approval for this asshole. I’ll even give the prick a hug, maybe even a shot of my vodka, maybe…

  1. He has apologized for every wrong doing he has done to you in actions and words. He takes the initiative to bring up all of these on his own, not you telling him what he should be sorry for.
  2. He did not use the “baby I’m sorry, I love you so much and I promise I’ll change” line. This is the line of liars. 0% change, they will go back to their old ways, guaranteed! How do I know he won’t change with that line? A man sincere would never use that line, they would respect your need for healing time and time alone.
  3. Did he admit FULLY to his history of physical, emotional, sexual, and psychological abuse? Did he see all of the signs of these, and understand how they hurt you so badly? Did he say why he did them, and why he won’t do them again?
  4. Is he no longer playing the victim? Is he accepting what is his fault? Has he told you that he wrongly blamed you for everything wrong, and why?

 

Remember the most important part of all of these checkboxes:

He must take the initiative on his own for them all