Humans

Can an abusive man change? If you believe so, what is the percentage of them you believe can change?

I wrote a letter to give to my friend I was referring to in this post. I brought up a number that I felt was the percent of men that would change, or could change. That number was 1%. I had some people disagree, they said that I was being biased. I had someone try to say “is that a fact”? Well of course it isn’t a fact. To say it is a fact would be a huge overestimation of who you are as a person and your abilities. There is absolutely no way something like this can be proven as fact. If someone can prove  an actual number as a fact, plain and simple, please do let me know. Thinking something like this is letting your ego control you, plain and simple. You know there is no way you can prove it to be a fact, but you have to prove yourself better somehow. Major ego issue that needs to be fixed there my friend.

Why can’t it be proven as a fact? Because you can’t factually prove the intention of every human being on Earth into a number. That would be saying you could see the future, that you can see everything that is ever going to happen. That is completely foolish, and you look like a complete fool by saying it – but wait… You think you sound smart. Educate yourself into being a better person. Being the better person is far from trying to make yourself sound like the better person by a false sense of your own abilities and intelligence.

The letter I am referring to is a letter I wrote to to my friend I was going to pick up. It was a gift to her, something she needed, and something I felt would be a great lesson for her. After starting to write on my blog today, I realized that this wasn’t meant as a gift just to her, it was meant for everyone to read, so I will post it here.

 

I’m going to type what is written in the letters because I can only see about half of what is written. When I took the pictures on my phone they looked great, but on my laptop I am unable to zoom in on them and can’t see half of what they say.

I wanted to come get you because I care about you and I love you. I can’t sit around and let someone suffer if I know there are things I can do to help. If someone can sit around and do nothing while you ask for help, then maybe they are worse off than you are?

Now, on to the tougher part of the things I want to let you know. I already told you why I came up here, so this time I would really like to see you stay. Can you make me a promise? That promise is that you will never go back to him, or any guy like him. Do you think you can do that?

*You saying yes comes with these terms*

You will not believe an abusive jerk because they beg, cry, and go on and on about how much they love you. They go on and on that they have changed, or that they will.

The chances of an abusive man in general changing is maybe about 1%.

An abusive man using only the “I love you, miss you, I have changed, or will change” asshole line has a big fat 0% chance of being sincere.

So, if you can accept the promise, you can agree to see these statements on the next page you have. With the promise you gave me, you agree that if you can not check off ALL of these boxes, then you will not go back to this guy. Pretty please?

If he is trying to make you come back, and you are considering it, then refer to this list. If you can truthfully check every single box, then you will have my approval for this asshole. I’ll even give the prick a hug, maybe even a shot of my vodka, maybe…

  1. He has apologized for every wrong doing he has done to you in actions and words. He takes the initiative to bring up all of these on his own, not you telling him what he should be sorry for.
  2. He did not use the “baby I’m sorry, I love you so much and I promise I’ll change” line. This is the line of liars. 0% change, they will go back to their old ways, guaranteed! How do I know he won’t change with that line? A man sincere would never use that line, they would respect your need for healing time and time alone.
  3. Did he admit FULLY to his history of physical, emotional, sexual, and psychological abuse? Did he see all of the signs of these, and understand how they hurt you so badly? Did he say why he did them, and why he won’t do them again?
  4. Is he no longer playing the victim? Is he accepting what is his fault? Has he told you that he wrongly blamed you for everything wrong, and why?

 

Remember the most important part of all of these checkboxes:

He must take the initiative on his own for them all

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Albert Einstein

You and your Universe

 

This is my first blog post. This blog is for me sharing my thoughts with others, and what I find with others, from what I already know, and what comes to me new after this. I’m going to start with what I already know. It will grow from what I already know, and that will get posted here when that happens.

This blog is simply my own interpretation of the truth, which adds another way to help others understand. If you have already read The Present  (and understand it) then you will understand what I say next. One of my favorite parts in the book is where it says “A spiritual person feels alone in a world of cavemen”. This could not be more true. I’m doing everything I can to avoid everyone that is living in the mind, cause they are forcing me to be in the mind. If they are taking up my personal space, I am forced to go to their level, and I can’t do my work, this work, because the mind can’t do it. I live with roommates, and they are living in the mind, when they are too close to my personal space, I get very unhappy, because I am forced to go down to their mind level. I do everything I can to escape them, but I have to not be rude. If I’m in the living room and doing my work on the couch, I put my blanket and pillow in the corner and I say “I want to be alone, I am going to go to my own space, I do not want to intrude on what you want to do”. I also say “if you want to sit on the couch, I do not have the right to intrude on your space, I am polite to them, and I hope they can understand my being polite, that they can understand and do the same”. We all need to understand this concept. Once I tell them in that way, everything is good.

This is another explanation to this –

My friend walked in the room. I said “hey, come over here, look around, this is your universe around you right now too, you see it” “I’m in my universe, and you are in yours, see?” You have to look.  He has no clue on what in the world I’m talking about so I got the what the f look. I laughed, I said it’s all good, then he laughed.

Remember you are in your universe when you can see this as well. No matter where you are at, it is yours. Your neighbors down the street don’t exist in your present universe if you are laying in your bedroom relaxing, or where ever you are. So do not worry about their business. If they are gay and you don’t like gays, well they don’t exist, their universe isn’t your universe to enter or try to control, and the same on them. They are in their universe. If they want to be gay in their universe, well you do not have the right to go in their personal universe. If you both can understand seeing your own universe, then neither of you will bother each other and you will live in harmony. Can you see the magnitude of the whole world understanding this, how it will equal complete harmony (Heaven)? Worry about your own universe in the moment only and this will solve many problems in the world right now, millions, if not billions of them, or more.