It has been a while since I have posted. My life has been an upside down mess recently. I have been extremely unhappy. I foolishly ended up in yet another psychologically abusive relationship. I am having trouble ending this one, this one has created a bigger problem on my feelings of self worth as a human being. I have lost a lot of myself, I do not know me anymore. I can not write the things I used to. I feel extremely depressed, worthless, useless, sometimes I almost just want to end it all. My OCD is coming back like a train running over me over and over. My anxiety is at record levels. I feel like I am losing my mind. Maybe I’m going crazy?
How do I keep doing this to myself? Is it me? Why do I get abused and treated subhuman in every relationship I get into? I am lucky that I have never been physically abused in a severe way, but all of the emotionally abusive men have physically abused me atleast once. Why do I care about this man who has been awful to me? Why don’t I hate him? Why can’t I hate him? I want him to go away and never return. He belongs in prison for his behavior. Why is this type of abuse able to happen so often and go unpunished?
I came up with a new idea tonight when I was talking to a friend about the abuse I have again endured for the past 5 months. I brought up that I would like to create some type of fundraiser/community/petition for being able to bring justice to victims of this tormenting type of emotional abuse. There are ways of proving this abuse and convicting these monsters so they can suffer for what they have done as they have made their victims suffer. Why do we have to live mentally damaged for months, years, even our whole lives because some entitled person wants to make us feel worthless and treat us like garbage? Do they think they are better than anyone? Where do they get this entitlement? They should at the very least be made to pay for therapy of the victim, lost wages, lost homes, lost opportunities, and many many more things that can be listed here.
I would love some of the readers here to add comments of ideas you have for a community and ways you think would be effective in proving emotional abuse in men and women. Ideas about the fundraiser, petition and any other useful information regarding this will also be greatly appreciated.
The UK passed a law on this recently. America needs to do it as well along with everywhere else in the world. Check out this link to read about it:
I wrote a letter to give to my friend I was referring to in this post. I brought up a number that I felt was the percent of men that would change, or could change. That number was 1%. I had some people disagree, they said that I was being biased. I had someone try to say “is that a fact”? Well of course it isn’t a fact. To say it is a fact would be a huge overestimation of who you are as a person and your abilities. There is absolutely no way something like this can be proven as fact. If someone can prove an actual number as a fact, plain and simple, please do let me know. Thinking something like this is letting your ego control you, plain and simple. You know there is no way you can prove it to be a fact, but you have to prove yourself better somehow. Major ego issue that needs to be fixed there my friend.
Why can’t it be proven as a fact? Because you can’t factually prove the intention of every human being on Earth into a number. That would be saying you could see the future, that you can see everything that is ever going to happen. That is completely foolish, and you look like a complete fool by saying it – but wait… You think you sound smart. Educate yourself into being a better person. Being the better person is far from trying to make yourself sound like the better person by a false sense of your own abilities and intelligence.
The letter I am referring to is a letter I wrote to to my friend I was going to pick up. It was a gift to her, something she needed, and something I felt would be a great lesson for her. After starting to write on my blog today, I realized that this wasn’t meant as a gift just to her, it was meant for everyone to read, so I will post it here.
I’m going to type what is written in the letters because I can only see about half of what is written. When I took the pictures on my phone they looked great, but on my laptop I am unable to zoom in on them and can’t see half of what they say.
I wanted to come get you because I care about you and I love you. I can’t sit around and let someone suffer if I know there are things I can do to help. If someone can sit around and do nothing while you ask for help, then maybe they are worse off than you are?
Now, on to the tougher part of the things I want to let you know. I already told you why I came up here, so this time I would really like to see you stay. Can you make me a promise? That promise is that you will never go back to him, or any guy like him. Do you think you can do that?
*You saying yes comes with these terms*
You will not believe an abusive jerk because they beg, cry, and go on and on about how much they love you. They go on and on that they have changed, or that they will.
The chances of an abusive man in general changing is maybe about 1%.
An abusive man using only the “I love you, miss you, I have changed, or will change” asshole line has a big fat 0% chance of being sincere.
So, if you can accept the promise, you can agree to see these statements on the next page you have. With the promise you gave me, you agree that if you can not check off ALL of these boxes, then you will not go back to this guy. Pretty please?
If he is trying to make you come back, and you are considering it, then refer to this list. If you can truthfully check every single box, then you will have my approval for this asshole. I’ll even give the prick a hug, maybe even a shot of my vodka, maybe…
- He has apologized for every wrong doing he has done to you in actions and words. He takes the initiative to bring up all of these on his own, not you telling him what he should be sorry for.
- He did not use the “baby I’m sorry, I love you so much and I promise I’ll change” line. This is the line of liars. 0% change, they will go back to their old ways, guaranteed! How do I know he won’t change with that line? A man sincere would never use that line, they would respect your need for healing time and time alone.
- Did he admit FULLY to his history of physical, emotional, sexual, and psychological abuse? Did he see all of the signs of these, and understand how they hurt you so badly? Did he say why he did them, and why he won’t do them again?
- Is he no longer playing the victim? Is he accepting what is his fault? Has he told you that he wrongly blamed you for everything wrong, and why?
Remember the most important part of all of these checkboxes:
He must take the initiative on his own for them all
My last post about the truth about Jesus is very true. A lot of people are going to be confused on the how to in this though. I feel that a good way for you to understand is to first understand how to deal with negativity in your life correctly. You’ll see that when everyone can see The Truth, that there will be no negativity to deal with anyways once everyone is united in harmony; which is what Jesus wanted and what his message is about, to unite everyone.
I’m going to write about a personal incident I had to deal with and I used good intention in it to handle the negativity, and I had the best outcome. The negativity can’t win if you don’t let it. I’m hoping my incident can help you understand as well.
First, give the negativity you are dealing with NO power, none, zero, do not even think about it. This is the MOST important thing to keep in mind. I’m going to give you how I used this technique in court against my abusive narcissist ex for a protection order, and how all of my worries were taken care of for me, easy as cake.
My learning this technique has been pretty recent, but once I was exposed to it, I understood it and was very interested in continuing to study it and share it. I feel this happening was preparing me for this incident. My friend that accompanied me was a guide for me that day. He reminded me of the importance of not giving him any power, and to not even look at him once, to look only at him (my friend) when I got on the stand. I’m glad he reminded me to not even give him enough power to look at him, and I didn’t, not even once. I felt his negative energy constantly trying to attack me and I was not letting it happen.
When I was called on the stand to tell my side of the story, I did so with good intention. I kept it straight to the point only as its non-sense to do it any other way if it isn’t going to help your case or be relevant. I simply told the judge I would like a permanent protection order due to my ex’s inability to let the relationship go in an adult manner, and so we could go about our own lives separately.
Oh I do want to add this part too about something I was still a bit worried about, but the angels took care of it for me that day as well. My ex was away for a while and I got in a situation with no money. I called him and asked if I could borrow some money from his checking account, that I would return it when I got the money. Well I ended up losing my job very shortly after that, and had no way to return my ex’s money to his account. After I got my temporary protection order, he started making threats to my friends to get me charged with a felony for using his bank account without his permission. He said if I didn’t drop the restraining order, he would press the charges on me. I did get legitimately worried (I was giving him power by doing so and I understood it, but the laws in that situation are weird and I’m not familiar with them in my current state). It stayed in the back of my mind I was going to possibly be a felon and it bothered me, even on my court date. It no longer bothers me because he told on himself in court.
I’ll explain how it happened (when he told on himself) because it’ll help explain the technique I am giving you to understand how to handle negativity with good intention.
When my ex was allowed to ask me questions, he asked me if I would pay him back the money I borrowed from his checking account, and he brought up when I called him to ask for permission. Good intention, I said yes, we can make arrangements then I looked at the judge and said I will pay him back on terms to not violate my own protection order. The judge said ok, but he didn’t bring it back up so oh well, I don’t think he cared.
Of course, my ex being full of anger (negativity) by the time our hearing was about over, he just had to continue his threats. He forgot he admitted to giving me permission to use his bank account already because he got so full of anger. Of course he threatened ,e and said I want you to remember I’m going to press charges on you for using my bank account without permission, he said he contacted his bank about pressing the charges and hasn’t contacted the police, as of YET. The tone he used was funny, like I was scared of his threat when he admitted the truth already, in court in front of a judge and on paper lol. I was just shaking in my boots terrified (not really). After that, the judge looked at me and said any questions for him? I said nope, thank you and have a wonderful day. (No is the best thing you can say, ignore it, there was absolutely no point in me trying to say anything to him what so ever, or I would have been giving his negativity power.)
To not go into too many other details, because if you can grasp this concept by this explanation, there is no need for me to ramble on (which I’m bad at doing sometimes).
That day in court ended up turning out very entertaining, the rest of the day was beautiful and I had a good time with my friends, everyone enjoyed some laughs in court (at my ex’s expense) because he made a complete fool of himself because he got SO angry that I wouldn’t even look at him.
I’m hoping this helps people in understanding how to work with the dark energies and helps you in understanding how the dark forces have NO power what so ever compared to using good intention/love.
We will no longer have to deal with people like this once we all understand the truth about life, and how to live in harmony. For now we do have to deal with it, because everyone is not united yet, but it will be temporary. So do you want to continue having to live with these types of people (like my ex) or do you want to help change it so we don’t have to suffer anymore? The choice is yours.